Still in shock. Still picking out little thistles and sticks from my clothes. Still tired from a weekend of constant people (love them to pieces by the way but for me being with big groups can sometimes be overwhelming).
Above everything, I am incredibly glad that I went. I don't think I will ever willingly go camping-- actually I know I never will-- but I am pretty thankful for the memories and unity that comes from it.
When you're out of your natural habitat everything becomes more uncomfortable. Current problems seem heightened and new problems leave you at a state of "I just can't even." It's a place where you're constantly being pushed and it's gloriously healing. I once told my friend that there was a whole world outside of her comfort zone and that she needed to go and find it. Just think about all the places, people and experiences we would never even have had any concept of if we just stayed in places we thought were safe. I for one would still be in Canada hiding beneath my sheets with the same friends (love em to bits btw) as I have always had. I wouldn't have rode in the back of a truck through Thailand under full starry skies or dug my toes in the warm sands of the lively beaches of Hawaii. I wouldn't have found out just how great a life with Jesus was at the time I did. I wouldn't have been the person I am today. Without camping I wouldn't have gotten to know my students deeper or experience them learning to love each other, creating more family than friendship. Kenny Peavy spoke about it in the first week: that we are so privileged to be in the room with such all stars. I have always looked around our classroom and seen such a depth to every single one of them. I'm happy I went because I got to see a little deeper into the lives of the dreamers and leaders that had surround me for the past month.
I felt so challenged to look past my human instincts-- my short patience and my want to withdraw from "too much" social interaction-- and learn to look at my SOMD family exactly as God sees them: as superstars, great leaders, sons and daughters. I was challenged to find the gold in things I didn't necessarily love (ex. Hiking. Hiking is not fun but people are fun when you hike with them). I was challenged to to live fully in the truth that God is my protector (ex. There was a bear who constantly decided to visit our campground in the middle of the night!) I was on edge in so many ways. Not a bad thing by the way. I'm sure the view is prettier on the edge then staying way far back in the comfort zone.
I was never able to say the word love before. Like I could say it but I questioned what it really meant. I knew the weight and the responsibility that came when you loved someone and in some sense I never wanted to say it to people because I was afraid to commit or I was afraid I could never live up to the expectation love held. Love calls us higher and forces us to treat others as if they were the most special person in the world. It's changed since I let Jesus love me. I tell it constantly to my friends and family and I don't put a time limit on how long it takes for me to know someone in order to love them. I still won't really tell people that I love them without truly meaning it because when I love I love deeply. It's hard to explain because I know we are called to love everyone and I understand that. But I think love will always be deeper and more tangible when you know the person for who they were created to be. I think there's a difference with loving someone and falling in love with someone, and not even in a romantic sense. When you fall, you fall for their character and for who they are. I fell for my family and my friends and I think I'm falling for this SOMD. I'm thankful that this weekend gave me the chance to see people and their hearts a bit better. Such a place to grow, and such a people to grow with.
- Abby
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