A Sky Full of Stars

across the earth, tear down the walls

Thursday night worship in the Ohana court

The night skies in Kona are much different than the ones back home in Canada. Fewer streetlights and fewer people means that each night when the clouds permit, you see an extraordinary array of stars. Every time I look at them I am in utter awe of how creative God is and how faithful he's been to bring me back to the island. I've been trying for a couple weeks to spot the big dipper because truth be told, it's the only constellation I know. I haven't seen it yet but I know it's there. I saw it last summer, magnificent and slightly slanted in the night sky. But I'm here for awhile. I will find it again.

The plaza of the nations

These past two weeks was in lack of a better word "interesting". People keep telling me that the Leadership Track is a time where you are challenged to really just let God take a hold of every single part of your life and let him help you deal with the deeper issues you got going on. Funny enough I'm finding out that they're right. These recent weeks have been a HUGE process of "re-finding"  my identity. I've always to some degree known who I am but lately I've had the chance to dig deeper. It's been hard: searching through a mess of things to really find the truth but it's so worth it. If you asked me who I was a week ago I could tell you but not an ounce of belief would be behind my words. Ask me now and though my confidence may seem shaky I think I could look you in the eye and tell you straight up and I am proud of that fact.  

Hiding in the fish net we built.

In work duties news: I'm actually kind of enjoying working on the farm. Cindy, one of my supervisor, is a literal angel. Her passion and patience makes working on the farm slightly more enjoyable. I still don't have enough confidence to reach under a chicken and grab an egg but I'm working on it. Me and three other girls built a fish net for the aquaponics system. We basically designed and built it entirely by ourselves. I think it looks like a circular hockey net but apparently to the people who work at in aquaponics it's an "answer to prayer".

Also in exciting news: I am now officially staffing the April Awaken DTS. It felt like one of those moments when everything just clicked and I knew in an instant that this was going to be a good thing. Before coming to Kona I would sit in bed and would wonder what it was going to be like to mentor students. Students who have come from various backgrounds and situations but all have a passion to know God on a deeper level. Will I be good enough and strong enough? I do hope for their sake and my own I that I am. Don't worry though. I will be. I 'm not doing this alone.

- Abby   

                   

"Feel the fear and do it anyway"

- Susan Jeffers

Song of the Week: Elastic Heart - Sia

YYZ to KOA

12 hours till destiny

The infinitely beautiful hawaihey

For exactly 12 hours straight I could hear the audible sound of my heartbeat. I'm pretty sure that everyone at one point in their life lets worry and stress consume their very being to the point that they can't function properly. Or maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe it's just me who lets worry get the better of myself, but I don't think it is.

For 12 hours as I flew over the land and the sea all I could think about was the challenges that would come once my feet were firmly planted in the sands of Kona, Hawaii. What was I afraid of exactly? Being on my own for the first time? Meeting tons of new people? The emotional and physical demands that come with being a missionary (yes even one based in Hawaii)? I could go on but I think you might get the picture. I've always loved and embraced change with open arms so I couldn't put a finger on why exactly Hawaii seemed to scare me so much, especially since I'd spent 6 weeks there this summer.

I have now been living in Hawaii for just shy of 2 weeks and I apologize for not writing this update sooner. I swear to you that I will try to update weekly -- that is if my life produces events interesting enough to blog about.

I love this girl. Kaitlyn is a gem from Oregon.

Despite my fears, people have been incredibly friendly as I try and figure out what my role is going to be in this community. It's a tad bit overwhelming having a ton of new faces to remember but I am extremely thankful that almost every face I meet has a warm smile across it.

I am currently living with 7 other girls which to some might seem like a challenge. We have one bathroom but it hasn't seemed to be a problem yet. They are all really nice and I can't wait to spend the next 3 months with them.

There are around 40 people who are in the Leadership Track with me. In the short time we have known each other I can see small signs that we are becoming a family. A couple nights ago we had a dessert night together and I realized that I find just as much joy chomping on a slice of cake as I do talking to the lovely people I have met here in Kona.

I work at the farm 3 days a week for a total of 9 hours. If you didn't know, I don't have the biggest tolerance for animals. Yesterday my friend Kayla and I spent literally 40 minutes trying to get an egg from under a chicken. I think it's safe to say that all hope of me being an animal lover kind of disappeared with the chicken feed that the hens attacked me for.

My girl Kayla (Canadian girls love Star Wars)

There have been so many moments this week that I so wish that any of you who are reading this could have joined me in. I want you to feel what I am feeling right now because this is what true happiness feels like. This little pocket of radical lovers all after the same thing, in what I consider paradise, brings me so much joy and has taught me so much about living life to the fullest. But it's not just the place or the people but the very fact that I am alive and breathing and am so blessed to be doing what I am doing that gets me excited to wake up every morning. 

I believe with all my heart that there are just some things that you are meant to do and coming back here for a more prolonged trip is one of them. I'd be foolish to think that this next 9 months is going to be perfect because it's not, but I really feel like God wants me here, so I know without  a doubt that in the end everything is going to work out. 

- Abby

My new family: The Leadership Track

"So I close my eyes to old ends and open my heart to new beginnings"

-Nick Frederickson

Song of the Week: Bite Down - Bastille vs Haim

Hello

YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL OUT OF CANADA BUT SHE WILL PROBABLY MISS IT

I guess the proper way to start off  any blog is with a "welcome". One that oozes heart and gratitude towards its readers, for I am tremendously happy that someone has actually taken the time to read these words. So welcome friends, family and whoever else that has managed to stumble upon this collective place for my thoughts and feelings -- to you I am eternally grateful.

Anyway, I am starting this blog for one simple reason: to inform. As some of you may know I have had the incredible chance to travel over the past year with a missions organization called Youth With A Mission or YWAM for short. I've kept a photo blog while I was away and though it may suffice, I think a written one will give a clearer perspective on what exactly I am doing.

In early January of next year I will be packing my bags (hopefully not exceeding the 50 pound weight limit) and boarding a plane with a one way ticket to Kona, Hawaii. There I will once again be involved with YWAM as I join their staff team with their rather large base in Kona.

This is a HUGE step in the opposite direction of where I thought my life would be going. Two winters ago I was filling out university application forms to pursue a Bachelor's in English (this being the first step of my master plan to obtain a  Master's Degree in Library Science-- and yes that's an actual thing). Now I find my myself filling out travel insurance forms so that I can work as an unpaid missionary based out of Hawaii. Crazy huh?

As crazy as it seems to me, this is my life. Every wonderful, amazing, ridiculous, miraculous and sometimes overwhelming to the point I want to cry, moment of these past couple years is my life. It's not perfect but its a blessing and I want to continue to live it to the fullest no matter where I am.

I really don't have a clue about what I want to do with my life in the long term or where it's gonna take me. All I know is what I believe to be my purpose: to love God and others wholeheartedly, and to incorporate that notion into everything I do. I can only hope that during my time in Kona, I am able to do just that.

So yeah, if you want frequent-ish updates on what I'm doing then please, I extend this invitation to you to join me via the WWW and  hopefully by the time you're finished reading each post I write, you are fully informed as to why I find life to be nothing short of wonder filled.

- Abby

"And what a revelation it was when she realized she didn't need to settle"

-Amy Rubin